Healers, Healing & The Ego

Healers, Healing & The Ego

Dealing with the ego is such a sticky point when you’re becoming a healer. It’s the entity elephant in the room, so to speak.

It’s strange when you think about it, considering we’ve all come to this work at least in part to heal our egos. And yet, it’s completely unavoidable as a healer to not continually deal with the threat of your own ego interrupting your work. As soon as you think you’ve got a handle on it, something pops up to let you know there’s still more work to do. We all know it’s true, but not many of us want to talk about it. Are we embarrassed? Worried what other healers will think about us? Scared to admit we’ve still got lots to learn? Maybe all of the above.

It can be hard to speak with other healers without feeling a competitive vibe in the air. We can’t help but wish we are the most powerful healer in the room. We like to think that this comes from a good place because we just want to help people, right? Wrong.

Sometimes we want to feel REALLY powerful, and we get a major high from doing healing work.

And this includes me! I’d like to be immune from this particular strain of self-importance, but no can do. Guilty as charged.

3 years ago when I was very keen and not-so-wise, I really felt like I was the one creating the healing. I knew from the workbooks that there were other things like the ‘energy of the creator’ coming into play, but I still felt that because I was acting as conduit, the magic must be happening at least in small part because of me, instead of through me. I was too wrapped in the need to gain power from the act of healing others, because I didn’t have any sense of my own power (something I am definitely still working on). And, with my major self-esteem issues, I needed the validation of being seen as a powerful healer. From my perspective healers were unique, special people who had been chosen for a greater divine purpose in this lifetime. I didn’t want to go back to being a member of the faceless masses that trudged to and from boring, meaningless jobs every day. Healing made me feel like I was different, above the rest. It made me feel valuable and useful during a time in my life when I felt directionless, since I had just moved to a new city and had left behind all my friends and my big, important job. Ego much?

Around this time is exactly the moment when all my psychic ‘powers’ took a long walk and forgot to leave a note. Funny that.

Other healers have experienced different versions of this as they move through their journey. For some healers there is only a small ebb and flow in ability, and for others like me there can be a big gap of time with absent abilities. Either way, it’s pretty normal and nothing to get worked up about. If anything, we need to use this as the next opportunity for own healing, and to get real about where we’re at and what level of healing we’re able to heal others at this point in time. There’s no shame in admitting you need to take a couple of steps back to move forward. It’s irritating, but not shameful.

One of the biggest misperceptions about healing work is that great healers are born and not developed. While some people are definitely born with amazing clairvoyance, and for that obvious reason it’s sometimes considered a ‘natural’ gift, the proper development of these skills over time is what separates the wheat from the chaff. Healing is not really unlike any other talent, even though our ego’s might not agree.

Take singing, for example. Some people are born singers, while others develop the talent with a vocal coach and years of dedication. Both can be internationally best-selling artists or stay-at-home moms, depending on their inclination. Taking the metaphor a step further, we all know the singer we love most is not always the one with the best technical skill: sometimes its the one with the gravelly voice, a sketchy past, and a wide open heart.

Healing can be like that too. The amount of heart you have in it matters just as much as any skill or certification.

Being a naturally impatient and overzealous Aries, the importance of patience in developing my healing work is something I have to learn time and again. I often get wrapped up in the pursuit of ‘more’ and forget about my heart. Like everyone, I’m always hoping to advance as quick as possible, and my shifty left-brain is always trying to tell me to just work harder, push harder, study more, read more, go on more retreats. Unfortunately that’s all just ego illusion, another tip that we’ve got an unloved part to claim and accept. All that forceful activity may work while on the corporate ladder, but certainly not on the spiritual path. If you’re on the spiritual path, get a great pair of walking shoes and a good soundtrack – we’re going to be here for a while.

I’ll see you there.

You may also be interested in – Co-Creation: The Truth About Healing

Artwork from Cameron Gray

Are you on the healing path or becoming a healer? How are you dealing with the ever-present threat of your ego? Tell me and the rest of the crew about it below.